Don't Ever Grow Up

I'll be the first to admit it:  the newborn stage of childhood is not my favorite as a parent.  When other moms talk about baby snuggles and that baby smell and those adorable newborn sounds, I think "WHAT?  You mean not being able to put the baby down, the scent of half-digested, regurgitated milk, and screeches and incessant wailing?"  With two children now, I've waited breathlessly for those anxious, sleepless, terrifying first few months to pass.  I know this is not a culturally acceptable thing to say, but there it is.

I fell head over heels in love with Sophie when she was around seven months old.  Not that I didn't love her before then, of course, but around that time all of the cliches of motherhood finally clicked for me.  I would rather die than see anyone hurt my child.  I was content just staring at her and marveling at how perfect she was.  After twelve straight hours of holding, comforting, feeding, changing, bathing, and entertaining Sophie, I would put her to bed and spend another hour staring at her pictures on my computer. And things have just gotten better from there.  I love how Sophie's language allows her to show me more and more how she sees the world.  I love how her physical abilities allow us to do so much more together - swimming, climbing, hiking, playing new games.  I love having a child who is potty trained!  I love watching her try new foods and read new books and sing new songs.  You can keep the newborn stage, I will take the preschool years, willfulness, potty humor, excruciatingly boring repetitive play and all.

Anyway, a few nights ago, I found myself in the kitchen holding Sophie in an extremely snuggly cuddle and saying passionately, "Don't grow up anymore!  Stay this small forever!"  To which Sophie replied, in a tone dripping with condescension:  "Sorry, Mom.  I have to grow up.  I'm eating my breakfast and lunch and dinner!"  Now she requests this game:  "Mommy, tell me not to grow up!"  She apparently enjoys shooting me down with a withering tone.  Perhaps I will not be so enamored of this during the teenage years.  But now, it is just cute.  I'm telling you, this is a great time for parenthood.

Here are a few things about three-year-old Sophie that I will miss when she inevitably does grow up:

1. Her wonderful voice - "falingmo" (flamingo), "pollilog" (polliwog), her hilarious use of adverbs like "actually" and "even."
2. How she tells secrets so quietly that it's not possible to hear them, only to feel her breath on your ear.
3. How she sometimes asks to walk her stuffed animal dog, even though that means wrapping him in a plastic bag to keep him from getting totally destroyed and then dragging him along behind her.  
4. Her bonecrusher hugs.
5. When she tells me "Mommy, when you wear your hair in a ponytail you look like Ellen, but when you don't you look like Mommy."
6. How she believed Daddy tonight when he told her that "finding treasure in the cat's sandbox" was a tremendously fun game to play.
7. How she takes care of me when I'm sad (and also how she expects that proffering a tissue will solve any sadness in just a few seconds).
8. How every night at bedtime when I ask her what was the favorite part of her day, she says it was being with me.

Oh, Sophie, I hope that even when you outgrow your baby voice and your baby gullibility, you will retain your sweetness, your joy, and your love for your Mama.

Sophie the frog demonstrates how frogs drink their water.